Yesterday on Twitter one of my favorite bloggers posted how she had just booked her 2 hour parenting class. Which got me thinking. Why do they think we can become good parents in two hours time? It only took me two minutes after I brought my screaming child home to realize that I had NO idea what I was doing. And where were the nice nurses that were only a call button's push away in the hospital?

As I've looked into the foster to adopt program, I once again got to sit through another two hour meeting where they talked about good parenting and parenting a child with special needs. They made it sound heroic, easy, and one of the most positive experiences our family would experience. I'm smart enough to realize it will also probably be one of the hardest experiences of my life should we choose to go through this route. No nine months of gearing up, and plenty of other worries and concerns to accompany it.

Or how about those two hour diabetes classes? In two hours time somehow you're able to become your own personal Wikipedia when it comes to remembering how to insert an insulin pump, count carbs, change basal settings and the works.

What makes two hours the golden number? I'll never know. I seemed to learn the most by watching friends and family become parents. And by getting new parental survival gifts like these:

1. A Bottle of Excedrin for those days of crying colicky kids and never ending screaming!! Or a six pack--but the Excedrin is more politically correct.


2.Earplugs for the days the baby just won't be quiet. Helps to mute the noise slightly. Of course, somedays...

these industrial strength earplugs may be required if crying lasts for hours and hours on end.

(Head to airportsafetystore.com if you're needing your own pair Mom's and Dads).

3. Don't be without this book. The days of nice enjoyable time in the bedroom are OVER!!! You're either too tired or don't have time.

(Men, you can order it here).

4. A Nurse for the night shift. Or a babysitter. If you can't afford one, hire your mother or mother in law for the night shift when you just can't go another night without sleep. And throw the baby monitor out of the bedroom. You'll never sleep with it on. Trust me, when they want you, they'll scream loud and clear for you. And you'll hear them in the middle of the night.


5. If you're going to get a gift certificate--get it to a curbside to go place. In the first few months you won't want to cook, but you won't want to go to a restaurant either. Baby screams too loud, you're too tired. Think Wingers, Applebees, or Chili's. (One friend gave me great advice. It helps baby go to sleep on the car ride to and from the restaurant leaving you some quiet time once you get home!)



Am I missing anything? Let me know!